Invaderz: Pocket Edition — Print Edition

Invade Earth. Entertain the Emperor. Die amusingly.

You are one of the Jerkian warrior elite: a soldier cloned from the tissue of the vast and glorious Jerkian Emperor.

You owe His Obese Omnipotence your life, loyalty and unquestioning service. Fortunately, the Jerkian Empire possesses the finest uniforms, the most advanced weaponry and the greatest ruler the galaxy has ever known.

Unfortunately, you are completely disposable.

Invaderz is a fast, light-hearted science-fiction roleplaying game about incompetent alien invaders attempting to conquer Earth, advance through the imperial ranks and survive missions devised for the amusement of their enormous Emperor.

Welcome to the Jerkian Empire

The Jerkians are little green clones serving a ruler of planetary proportions.

Players can take the roles of Jerkian:

• Troopers.

• Assault Troopers.

• Scientists.

• Engineers.

• Embedded Reporters.

• Other military specialists.

The Pocket Edition also includes rules for playing members of the Empire’s conquered slave races, including Furrians, Hamstoids and Squaloons.

Each squad may also be accompanied by an A.R.S.E.—an Automated Robotic Servile Entity.

The Empire’s invasion of Earth is not governed solely by sensible military objectives. The Emperor wants conquest, but he also expects food and entertainment. Orders from Jerkian High Command can consequently be peculiar, dangerous and self-defeating.

Completing them may earn merit and promotion.

Failure may earn a rapid replacement clone.

Fast Characters for Short Life Expectancies

Character creation is intentionally quick.

Players determine their character’s name and military role, establish the things at which they are Good or Very Good, and receive an additional piece of equipment.

The process can be completed within minutes, which is useful when serving an empire that considers its soldiers replaceable.

Characters are defined through four attributes:

• Meat

• Brain Meat

• Expertise

• Luck

Task resolution uses a single six-sided die, with the relevant attribute and skill added to the roll. Combat follows the same straightforward approach, with characters and many objects moving between three conditions:

• Fine

• Disabled

• Splatted

The rules are deliberately sparse and accessible, keeping play focused on missions, treachery and comic disaster rather than lengthy calculation.

Promotion, Privilege and Betrayal

Jerkian society is organised by rank.

Higher rank brings privileges and greater authority, making advancement extremely attractive to soldiers at the bottom of the imperial hierarchy.

A warrior can earn promotion by performing well, collecting merits and pleasing the Emperor. They can also improve their prospects through infighting and betrayal.

Your fellow warriors may be comrades in the conquest of Earth.

They are also competitors standing between you and a more comfortable position in the Empire.

Imperial Equipment

The Jerkian Empire claims to possess the finest technology in the universe.

Its equipment does not always support that claim.

The book contains an extensive collection of standard and experimental equipment for Jerkian forces. Much of it is unreliable, with the exact consequences left in the hands of the Games Master.

As one reviewer observed, the equipment should probably malfunction whenever doing so would be funniest.

Earth, According to the Jerkians

The book includes an Earth Field Guide presenting humanity and its world from the invaders’ decidedly imperfect perspective.

This material gives players an appropriately distorted understanding of their enemies while providing the Games Master with further material for missions and misunderstandings.

The Jerkian Empire is mighty.

Its intelligence-gathering is less impressive.

Inside the Pocket Edition

This revised and expanded edition contains:

• The complete Invaderz roleplaying game.

• Fast character generation.

• Simple single-D6 rules.

• Jerkian military roles.

• Rules for rank, merit and promotion.

• Playable Jerkian slave races.

• Standard and experimental equipment.

• An Earth Field Guide.

• A guide to planets controlled by the Jerkian Empire.

• Approximately twenty mission seeds or Battle Plans.

• Additional adventure ideas added for the Pocket Edition.

• The Jerkian Imperial Anthem.

• New artwork.

• Everything needed to begin an invasion of Earth with inadequate preparation and excessive confidence.

A Beer-and-Crisps Roleplaying Game

Invaderz describes itself as a beer-and-crisps game: something to pick up and play when the group wants a break from longer, deeper or more demanding campaigns.

Its characters are easy to create, its rules are quick to learn and its missions are designed for comic science-fiction mayhem.

Reviewers repeatedly praised precisely those qualities.

Flames Rising called it a delightful game that was easy to learn, play and laugh over, awarding the writing four out of five and the game three-and-a-half out of five overall.

Tenkar’s Tavern described reading it as a blast and identified it as a fast-paced, funny game well suited to conventions and one-off gaming days.

Reviews from R’lyeh praised its pick-up-and-play design, fast character creation, clear writing and easy rules, comparing its humour to the broader and more tongue-in-cheek side of Paranoia and classic cartoon alien invasions.

Kneel Before the Jerkian Elite

Earth awaits liberation beneath the generous bulk of the Jerkian Emperor.

Your equipment has been issued.

Your squad has been assembled.

Your orders are probably idiotic.

Serve the Empire.

Entertain His Immenseness.

Crush the Earthlings—or at least make your own destruction memorable.

Long live the Jerkian Emperor!

This listing is for the physical print edition of Invaderz: Pocket Edition, written by James Desborough and published by Postmortem Studios. It is a 114-page softcover in a compact format of approximately 5.75 × 8.25 inches. An ordinary six-sided die and normal gaming materials are required and are not included. Contains crude and adult humour.